Obama def. Romney in 2012. Book it.

Cain flames out. Perry makes a comeback but can’t quite pull it off. Mittens get the nom and loses by a fairly close margin, because while he’s somewhat palatable to independents, the base just can’t stomach the guy. And so in a bad economy, where challengers are usually a slam-dunk, the incumbent survives.

What sucks about this is that while Obama will be reelected, because the GOP will lose with the milquetoast Mormon, they still won’t have gotten the necessary wakeup call that’ll make them look into the mirror and see what a circus they’ve become. For that to happen, for them not to have the “Well, that’s what happens when we don’t nominate a REAL conservative” excuse (their defense for losing with McCain last time around) they need to nominate and lose with an honest to god Jesus-lovin’, anti-book-learnin’, non-taxin’, cousin-fuckin’ red state retard.

Cain’d fit the bill. So would Perry. Unfortunately, they’re too retarded to get the nom. And so by process of elimination we’ll be left with Mittens, who after his loss can strip down to his magic Mormon underwear and go diving into his millions Scrooge McDuck-style.

And discover that yes, even robots can cry.