No shit it didn’t work

Katie Couric parts ways with the CBS Evening News because no one watched because her name was fucking Katie. I don’t care how misogynistic that sounds. I’ll buy lemonade from a girl named Katie. I’ll drop change in a UNICEF box for a girl named Katie. I’ll laugh at a sitcom cheerleader character named Katie. But take them seriously? Not a fucking chance.

I don’t want my news from a girl named Katie any more than I want it from a guy named Cody, or a girl named Melanie or a guy named Skip, or any other ridiculously unserious name someone was unfortunate enough to have been saddled with at birth. And the alliterative last name? Christ on a cracker, the deck was stacked against her from the start.

And what am I saying; it’s not even like Katie was her given name. With some people it’s not their fault, but Katherine Couric chose to shorten her name to the more cutesy and welcoming Katie to suit the cutesy and welcoming persona required for the cutesy and retarded Today Show. The clear lesson here: if you hope to one day be taken seriously in broadcasting, play it halfway – she should’ve gone with Kate.

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