I know I say it often

but this really might be the most flat-out, balls-to-the-wall dumbest thing I have ever heard:

“With regard to the idea of whether you have a right to health care, you have realize what that implies. It’s not an abstraction. I’m a physician. That means you have a right to come to my house and conscript me. It means you believe in slavery. It means that you’re going to enslave not only me, but the janitor at my hospital, the person who cleans my office, the assistants who work in my office, the nurses… You have a right to beat down my door with the police, escort me away and force me to take care of you.”

That’s from Senator Rand Paul, who’s just as crazy as his dad but doesn’t even share any of the few good ideas Ron actually has (eg. legalizing marijuana, getting the government out of the marriage business). The guy’s a Tea Party toolbag on every conceivable level, and this type of stupid, and I mean fucking stupid rhetoric can serve as Exhibits A-Z as to just why these people are such reality-challenged asshats.

Let’s take another tact with this:

“With regard to the idea of whether you have a right to (personal security), you have realize what that implies. It’s not an abstraction. I’m a (cop). That means you have a right to come to my house and conscript me. It means you believe in slavery. It means that you’re going to enslave not only me, but the janitor at my (precinct), the person who cleans my (precinct), the assistants who work in my (precinct), the (911 operators)… You have a right to beat down my door with the police, escort me away and force me to (protect you).”

or how about:

“With regard to the idea of whether you have a right to (not have your house burn down), you have realize what that implies. It’s not an abstraction. I’m a (firefighter). That means you have a right to come to my house and conscript me. It means you believe in slavery. It means that you’re going to enslave not only me, but the janitor at my (firehouse), the person who cleans my (firehouse), the assistants who work in my (firehouse), the (911 operators)… You have a right to beat down my door with the police, escort me away and force me to take care of you.”

Actually, fuck it, let’s go with an even closer analogy:

“With regard to the idea of whether you have a right to (EMS), you have realize what that implies. It’s not an abstraction. I’m a physician. That means you have a right to come to my house and conscript me. It means you believe in slavery. It means that you’re going to enslave not only me, but the janitor at my hospital, the person who cleans my office, the assistants who work in my office, the nurses… You have a right to beat down my door with the police, escort me away and force me to take care of you.”

What’s the difference? Assuming we accept the premise, what part of Senator Stupid’s statement about healthcare would not, by the same line of logic, also apply to emergency services, specifically medical emergencies? What, it’s not slavery when someone needs immediate help with their health? Then it’s all cool in the pool to “beat down a doctor’s door and force him to take care of you?”

When you can comparatively illustrate someone’s rank clownery by changing all of two words it really says something: not only are you a heartless, mean-spirited, classist douchebag – you’re also not too bright. Which puts him right at home, doesn’t it?

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