I don’t usually wish death on people

Not in writing anyway, but I do when they deserve it, and holy shit, can Pat Robertson just drop dead already?

So apparently Haitian people made a deal with the devil over a century ago to be free of one of the Napoleons and now His Evilness has come to collect in the form of an earthquake.

You know what? That makes perfect sense. In fact, how about this:

Dear Devil,

Yo, dawg, do me a solid? There’s this guy, Pat Robertson. Yeah, that closeted homosexual with crabs who’s always complaining and saying stupid shit. You know who I’m talking about.

Anyway, when you get a chance, kill him. Like, in the face. Hard.

In exchange for this small favor I am willing to offer you a box of Marshmallow Peeps , and maybe one of those new Droid things that I keep hearing about on TV.

Thank you for your consideration,

Me

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