Thank you, Tiger Woods

I held back on commenting on this whole Woods circus act because a) the only thing to say is that “tremendously overblown” doesn’t begin to do it justice, and stating something that obvious is beyond worthless, it’d be insulting to your intelligence as well and b) because I am and have always been thoroughly disinterested in this man. I find his sport coma-inducing and his persona non-existent, a blandness that extends to his by the book extramarital affairs as well (after Governor Marky Mark’s mountain hiking/globe trotting/poetry writing side show last year the bar for interesting marriage scandals has been raised way beyond this simple Text n’ Fuck stuff, which now seems quaint by comparison.).

Now, however, I do have to say something, and what I must say is a whole hearted and genuinely appreciative thank you to Mr. Woods. He has taken an “indefinite break” from golf. If only every public figure I found cluttering and unnecessary would just handle things this way, just take an “indefinite break” from public life, well wouldn’t that be a thing.

And as an aside: what the fuck is Rick Reilly doing on Sportscenter giving his evaluation of how Woods should go about rebuilding his marriage? Are you kidding me? What in the name of god gives this moribund sports humorist, whose only discernible skill has ever been the ability to elicit chuckles from stupid people with pop culture references that have all the datedness and artless delivery of a Shrek movie, the standing to play even the most amateur of marriage counselors?

Fuck that, this post is now about Rick Reilly and the constitutional amendment I am proposing that will make it the right of every citizen of the United States to turn on a television without fear of having to see the smug, shit eating grin of this hopelessly self unaware and unfunny relic ever, ever again.

Here is an article by someone else taking Reilly to task. I didn’t even read it all, but at this point I’m ready to throw in with anyone and everyone willing to rip this guy the new one he so deserves.

Fuck Rick Reilly in the neck.

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