5.4 microseconds is

a) the amount of time it takes light to travel one mile

b) the amount of time it takes to realize the irony of someone named Sizemore having his “dong shots in the mirror” pics leaked online

c) both

Sizemore, who plays center field for the Cleveland Indians, swings a big stick and can go after balls with the best of them, but last season found himself slumping and unable to perform as expected, ultimately coming up small.

I can’t help it, this shit just writes itself.

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