The Girardi Binder

After the debacle I just witnessed on Fox, Joe Girardi should be the first manager ever to be fired even if his team sweeps through the World Series with a run differential of 4932874983758934 to 0.

What. A. Moron.

I encourage all 6.3 million of my readers to take a look at the sequence of Girardi’s managerial moves that took place today in Game 3 of the ALCS.

Of note: he consulted a binder in the dugout before making his final boneheaded move of the game. Thus is born a new meme for especially stupid, ridiculous actions, utterly incomprehensible to even the least intelligent amongst us: The Girardi Binder. Examples:

“Oh, look. Oncoming traffic. What should I do?”
*consults Girardi Binder*
*walks into middle of street*

“Oh, look. A fire. What should I do?”
*consults Girardi Binder*
*walks into middle of fire*

“Oh, look. I think my relief pitcher just twitched. What should I do?”
*consults Girardi Binder*
*goes to bullpen*

When even Tim McCarver smacks down your managing, wow, you are really, really bad at it.

EDIT: In the interest of presenting both sides, here is Joe Girardi’s explanation of his inexplicable final move of the game, the rotten cherry of a pitching change that was a fitting top-off to a truly rancid managerial performance (this line would be much better if the game took place on Sunday and I could turn it into an awesomely bad pun, but whatever):

Joe Girardi’s postgame press conference lasted about three minutes, and his explanation for taking out Dave Robertson and bringing in Alfredo Aceves was that the Yankees “liked the match-up better.” Asked to elaborate on that since Howie Kendrick was 1-for-2 lifetime against Robertson and had never faced Aceves, Girardi declined.

Translation: “Because I felt like it, that’s why!”

See? This is why I don’t present both sides. Because the other side is stupid.

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